Smokin' HOT

Extremely Long post ahead! i was outlining this post roughly lastnight before i fell asleep cause i knew i had to cover a series of topics about my life so here it is
1) Intro-(mothers day, life, mood, etc)
2) Bu two days ago
3) smoking
4) music
5) pool
6) outlook on life

I feel like i missed some stuff cause actually i fell asleep at 6pm yday and didnt wake up until this morning. I was very exhausted. lol. So the outline i said i made was only in my head. lol. So HAPPY MOTHERS DAY EVERYONE! Im lookin forward to going out to eat for my mom tonight! :] its going to be fun. Hum My mood right now is good. Everyone for once is at home together. Its beautiful weather outside. Like usual when my sisters are together they tend to just sleep? Idk why. Like usual, my dad is doing some fixing house or equipment crap and im on my computer and mom is cooking. Usually my sister can sleep up until dinner time and come rushing out like YUMMY food! i would still be on the computer doing something so compelling that i would have to pull myself away to eat. haha my dad would be the last one to come to the dinner table cause hell be bringing in the tools and stuff. But today even though it loos very cliche its going to be different!! cause i need to take a shower since i didnt last night lol and we are going out to eat for mothers day :]..which leaves me to wonder why my mom is cooking O.o.I guess its all part of the nostalgic family image. haha So lets begin!

Wow, i must say..Bu two days ago was probably a life changing event that i took very lightly. Im learning how to be very comfortable about myself, and speaking aout my personal thoughts with the firm confidence i have with everything else. ITs a side i didnt see come out so suddenly. I met two new people two days ago (the reason why i was so exhausted this morning)friday night i visited bu and slept over until saturday morning. I met two people one named Bryant (aka zed) and another being Stephy. For some reason i was veryy naturally comfortable around Stephy and told stephy a brief summary about my life. Weird huh? but lets rewind. Why was i at bu anyways?! excellent quesion. and i wondered that as i waited in the lobby of the warren towers for this girl we shall call Han. Han likes me alot....she told everyone. haha. I met her at a picnic a month or so ago. It was a awesome picnic cause moses hosted it and we ended up playing catch phrase the whole time until i left for work. Apparently, after i left i left an impression on someone because she shortly added me on facebook and continued to keep in contact and not too long later...got my phone number and began to text me. I of course would not shoo away a fellow creep ahaha so i responded and stuff...well.she likes me ALOT. So friday, after talking to Jenny Hoac, i realized that i needed to tell her how i feel about her. I dont like her. I probably could if i allowed myself. But i dont want that. So i sat in the lobby that friday afternoon debating how i should go about it or if i should even tell her. For some reason i left the lobby, her by my side still undecided because i felt like i should let go and just be with her. i might find my sentimental side and she'll be happy. double win right?...is it worth giving up the stable life i have now? (yes i have a very stable life right now) lol i sigh and decide in the end that i would simply let the day play out and keep the two sides at the back of my head. If she steps a line ill have to tell her the truth. She gave me space though. and we talked very friendly. I liked that alot. Made me feel even worse if i even thought about blurting out my blunt rejection. But regardless i promised Jenny i would not flirt. And i didnt. haha BOOYAH IF YOURE READING <3 lol. so yeah she was the reason why i was at BU. Me and Han did nothing special. talked like normal i purposely allowed her to feel more distant with my more mature responses. We ended up going to stephy's room just cause we ran out of things to do. Stephy was alone so we stayed there the whole night with dan, jesse and bryant. Yeah, once Han left the room and stephy and bryant approached me about her and i was surprisingly at ease s i told them how i felt. This sudden feeling of comfort continued through the night. But yeah..Han left the room around 4-5 exhausted cause Bryant and Dan were still up gaming and she really wanted to sleep. we had to decide who wanted to stay and in the end, i stayed in the room with stephy as everyone left around 5. We stayed up until 7 talking about ourselves. Mostly about relationships and i felt very comfrtable talking about phi. I told her she was at bu and how it took me 6 years to get over her. It was my response to her when she asked me if i ever experienced true love. She commented on my story by saying, "Thats Obsession, its different". It got me thinking but eh.. I only gave a 5 min summary and i was tired so it might have sounded like pure obsession since it was one sided. We got pretty personal and stayed that way until we both agreed to get some sleep. She woke me up at 11 and kicked me out cause her parents were here. I complied and left. She was such a beautiful person..Inside. I learned to respect her and see another layer. but no i am not attracted to her the slightest bit. lol So next topic!

SMOKINGGG oh my oh my. readers. Please dont look. The day after i left bu. I smoked soo much. In fact ive been smoking alot in general. I've been becoming addicted to the serenity i grasp after tugging a nice one under the hot sun. On average, i smoke 4-5 a day. The day i left BU alot was running through my head and i smoked 6 times in a course of 3 hours. Yikes. Im sorry people. lol. if it makes you feel better, i havent smoked in the past 24 hours. lol. ive been asleep 90% of the past 24 hours. I want a smoke right now >.>

INTERPOL im getting into them Finally. It started with Take you on a cruise and i have that shit still on replay. haha they are beginning to flood my playlist :] its more mellow than the strokes or Kings of convience. I think by the end of this, i would be the most mellow person you've met. cause my music continues to be more and more mellow. Of course, i continue to listen to metal here and there. but mellow all the wayy.

POOL. Dude. Im disgusting. im sorry. but now fuck shooting. i can do that (unless its balls in the middle of the table, for some reaon i cant make those angled shots.)but dude. i give people serious trouble. haha i learned a new break and my stroke greatly improved. I played ray and this other guy (both 7 years experience) and i gave them a good long game. :]. Im still far off from Bochen but..Im getting there bochen!!

LIFE? Moving forward! :D sure i still have that outlook that i have to get dirty here and there. nothig is going to be drama free for me. but life is great. Life is better single. Peace!