USE THE FORCE!

So, after i cleared up from the last blog (took about 30 mins after the blog was posted) i was pretty much back to mellow me except for the fact that i gained revived energy but i dont mind it at all. Matter of fact, I feel like im Mr. Awesome. Im so awesome that i think im ready..even though as shown from the last blog post im definitely not. but shit..i mean when will i be ready then, you know?..well of course you dont know because i havent said anything yet. I want to regain anger. The feeling of impatience and like..just..disgust. Very bad idea. and knowing my history with stress and anger im pretty much lighting a match next to a pile of already-drowned-in-lighter-fluid-self. cause i've been there and done that and its much harder to gain good attributes rather than bad. but idk.like geez. when was the last time i can say i've felt a adrenline rush? i used to run on that shit every single day. lol. It was a great..well better now cause i dont need it to tell myself im awesome but with a external force, such as anger. Help shit push along idk..anything can happen! ANYTHING! lol. probably i'll go and allow myself to feel anger, this is very easy for me because all i need to do is reintroduce anger. whenever someone fucs with me instead of just letting it go with a completely blank head i can tell myself:Hey thomas, this is ANGER. but yeah...idk..more digression on a later day. im tired as shit .lol

Editt:

Further digression must include pool. There is a new guy in NEU and geez...bochen cant beat him. This terrifies me. That means that even the smallest fuck up is intentional. can you believe that?! I cant even wrap my head around how good he is. thats how good he is. lol. its like..krilin is to freeza's fourth transformation as i am to this guy. I call him Mcdermott guy cause he always has his mcdermott cue stick and it looks almost identical to my lucasi.His real name is Baran and hes turkish! haha i threw the few turkish words i knew at him and we had a fun conversation haha. Even though i know that every time he misses hes going easy on me he's so good that he can messup and put the ball places that would make the game just challenging enough for me. I like his modest system of teaching and honestly, i bitch and moan about it in the pool room cause if i see a shot that i can do that he cant, its obvious he gave me too much slack. but he rarely does that and usually we have reallly fun games that leaves him laughing and me sweating bullets lol

Pool, work, hw, home :P