GET OUT

OKAY...*slaps self* i do not admit that my past was not so bad! fuck my life. I dont remember what i went through but its killing me. Im stressing out because im not worried about whether or not i should have done what i did. my mental problems, were they exaggerated? hard to say. WHY AM I REGRETTING?! oh thats right...i can regret again. fml. girls. why do i need girls?! why does this thought bother me?! The thought is: Im a good guy, why dont any girls like me!?. Its bullshit. its whatever. This post is to get it out of my system. I think i started thinking about intimacy again due to psych. from the ages of 19-25 human beings are reaching their physical primes. that means everything is most sharp, especially if youre a athlete. This is a problem..if i cannot woe a girl during my prime. i dont know whats wrong..im not as obnoxious anymore. i clearly have a open mind. i come off as intellegent (as my good female girls have testified) and i believe i have proficient appearance. I have my own mind. Idk im just a very general guy. I'd say i had the mind set of a man in his early twenties. Open-minded, funny, can hold a proper conversation. it should not be this hard to find a girl. seriously. If i want to get reallly deep into it (which i have) i would think about things like..probably its the way i look around. I notice i tend to instinctively look up if im focused and i feel someone is looking at me. so its this awkward thing that happens alot. or we can get more technical. Is it the fact that i stink? do i stink?... perhaps the girls notice that i have poor grammar as they continue to talk to me. This might reflect my intelligence and end in a negative conclusion. If anything it would probably be because im too touchy. but hell..i think ive done good lowering that. I used to be a very clingy type and id admit that. shit i liked hugs and girls giggles were a guilty pleasure. but if its scarying them away thats a fuckin problem. as shown by the pharmacy girls, which apparently call me "two feet thomas" behind closed doors...No closer than two feet...like wtf? i wasnt even that clingy to them. she said that "i threw pickup lines at her befoe i even told her my name." pfft. whatever. i stopped talking to them. but WHAT IS WRONG!? can any girl please tell me? Perhaps its my nails? lol cause i bite my nails alot and its impossible to break the habit :P ughh idk. Back of my head now. anywho..New clothes. i got this new jacket from H&M AND I FUCKIN LOVE IT. ridiculous. lol grades can definitely improve. speaking of which i have something due at 9am sooo. chao! more to come!