turmoil

This is perhaps the only time ever since my last blog post where i feel something so strongly that i can write about it. I wanted to write something several times now because of the crazy shit thats happen to me but every time i look at the prvious blog post i realize that that is the problem right now and that is what i should be worrying about, everything else became obsolete. Just now there is another feeling that trumps the distress the last one caused and the last problem wasn't considered shit compared to the feeling i have now. In fact, i changed my life goal because i feel as if theres no need to meditate or find a girl, thats unnecessary for me. What im feeling right now is how people feel when every path leads to a bad ending. I have this haunting feeling that ive reached a threshold and regardless of which way i go, im fucked. It makes me very troubled and anxious. I hope this clears up and i find a way out by the end of today, hopefully the end of the week.