...fucked.

Someone needs to slap me. Ever since the last entry, my condition has gotten nothing but worse. I feel like im my old self again. I wont say he's awakening or reborn or any bullshit like that. its just that im experiencing stress and depression again. It sucks. I dream about stressful events and wake up to a subtle sense of stress that requires me to stretch properly and get ready for the day of "work". then i need to manually switch on my sense of awesome. for some you might have seen in movies, people that give themselves confidence by talking to themselves in a mirror. That would be me if it gets bad enough. lol. Then through the day i just feel like bleh. Only reacting to other peoples emotions and expressions. Routine shit for me really cause i did this everyday during early highschool. idk why this is happening now. Someone needs to slap me though because i dont want to feel comfortable like this. I didn't "pay" for this crap.. I dont need a smoke. or a beer. or someone to hug. I need something new in my life. give me a reason to live.