dude, i must put that as the title. cause like..shit..i need a happy post. even if the post is about a period of my life. I've had a post about a average day...endless crappy days. for some reason i just didn't use to believe in making happy post. Probably because it painted a bullshit imagine. but now hell. who says i dont have happy days? im not the man i used to be. Anywho happy post. apparently im a attention whore because i felt like CRAP in the morning. like..i got decent sleep but shit..i woke up feeling like i didnt sleep in days. (the usual from previous post) in fact. Nothing was good about this day! :D i failed my stats test and fuck..i failed at pool and the weather was crap. but i feel great cause i got the <3 and attention i needed. thats all i ever need to be happy. It was with a girl named trang shes a middler and were just friends but i took her to a dining hall and we ate and talked together for an hour and a half. and i absolutely LOVE the conversations which happen just so smoothly. i dont feel like im trying to get to know her but rather were trying to get to know each other. She put her thoughts out there and so did i. I dont have to ask a shit load of questions and feel like im trying to gain something from the experience. Funny thing is i've seen her around campus since first semester and she of course noticed me cause she was one of those always in curry. Today was our formal introduction though and i got to know her. Completely friendly just awesome. after we ate and talked we went back to curry and i can tell she wanted to stay cause usually, she would have just left by then since shes a commuter. Instead she stayed with me for another hour and we did nothing but play cards, talk about funny stuff and listen to music. I love socializing :]. and im sorry if i left this out on the last post but the day before i posted the previous post.
I BEAT BOCHEN IN POOL. hahha *STAMP* know i know you might say..there was already a blogpost saying that? but no. I look back and can tell he was going soo soft on me. lol. this time he was playing seriously. cleaning me for 20 games straight. his stupid ass decided to play one handed for one shot. and missed and i got PISSED and was like FUCK YOU BOCHEN IM NOT THE PLAYER I USED TO BE....TIME TO WIN and i cleaned the table with him having 5 balls left on the table. lol.sure sure you can argue that he WAS going soft on me. but shit. if anything im worthy opponent for his one handed skills. and he can beat someone thats been playing for 7 years. HE only played for 2. He's a fuckin prodigy. AND i BEAT HIM WITH LESS THAN 1 YEAR OF EXPERIENCE FUCK YESSS. lol im catching up bochen...you wait~. i remember before when there was no competition and you can slaughter me with one hand..hands down. but now. BUWAHAHA you must play me seriously with two or else ill bite your ass! :P. its a great feeling to know im worthy competition for him now. Me and my cue stick, lucasi. are unstoppable. i <3 my stick now because i am worthy for it. it feels great. i found out its because its 17 oz stick instead of 19oz. 19oz is alot heavier and yeah...19oz much easier to use if your a beginner. for pros it might be comfortable but it might be better to use 17 cause more feel. thats what i wasnt used to before :D. my stick allows me to feel the whole table once i tap into it. when i strike the white ball..even though the object ball is on the other side of the table..i FEEL how much power went into the object ball, how much spin and it helps Soo much. idk how to explain it. probably its just my stick. what other good news. shit. fail cause ctually its not the best time of my life right now. im exhausted and nothing is good. but i feel great. and thats all that matters sooo toodlelOo!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
...fucked.
Someone needs to slap me. Ever since the last entry, my condition has gotten nothing but worse. I feel like im my old self again. I wont say he's awakening or reborn or any bullshit like that. its just that im experiencing stress and depression again. It sucks. I dream about stressful events and wake up to a subtle sense of stress that requires me to stretch properly and get ready for the day of "work". then i need to manually switch on my sense of awesome. for some you might have seen in movies, people that give themselves confidence by talking to themselves in a mirror. That would be me if it gets bad enough. lol. Then through the day i just feel like bleh. Only reacting to other peoples emotions and expressions. Routine shit for me really cause i did this everyday during early highschool. idk why this is happening now. Someone needs to slap me though because i dont want to feel comfortable like this. I didn't "pay" for this crap.. I dont need a smoke. or a beer. or someone to hug. I need something new in my life. give me a reason to live.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Fuck that shit. Give me a shot!
Meh. as you might notice, my post arent of the most happiest right now. When are they ever? haha. Theyre always about oh.girls..blah blah blah..oh school..blah blah blah. family. Im in the mood where i really just want to say Fuck that shit. Since when did i ever let something bring me down? what happened to the thomas that thought reasonably and never got fustreated because i accepted the situations ahead of me and worked to improve them. I find myself mopeing about stupid shit alot now and well, its been happening a while now and its beginning to bug me. But to contradict, My neu program is interveiwing new applicants today and for some reason today when i walked into the room full of about 100 aplicants just to check it out and i got really mad at myself. I was mad because i was not the few student that was picked by the professors to speak in front of the students. Do i not qualify? well, of course i didn't since i was the one in the back not making a inspirational speach. That realllyyy bugged me. But it motivated me in a sense where i felt like showing them who is worthy. I've been spiraling downwards in my studies because of my lack of confidence, echoing that i cannot catch up since i already fucked up. My used-to-be stable grades in stats were dropping for a period of time and english continued to get worse. There is no good news or bright side to this. But it just made me so mad how i was not there, making a speech..it was one of those few moments in my life where i was jsut like..i cant be here right now i have to go because this is too much. bye. and i walk out because the students were applauding others. I guess this is a good sign? shows that im caring now. haha. But my work ethics refuse to comply. I have so much to learn that its fustrating. For example, whenever i do a paper..in order to do a good job i start super early. not because i know i can get it peer editted and shit. but because when im working on it i cant help but to get my focus knotted up on other things on my mind. I've become a hardcore procrastinator and so starting super early would allow me to do just a decent job and get it done just on time. Yesterday was when this style of working was not neu material and for the first time i was able to FOCUS even though people were literally laughing and playing music and shit around me. I've never been able to do that but it was too late, for the paper i was working on was due yesterday as well so my focus once again, only aalowed me to finish the paper with DECENT quality. on time. i fuckin hate that shit. I felt great while it was happening though, because i was completely focused on my work and i was able to still put my thoughts into the conversation around me that my friends were having, but never loosing my train of thought. Music helps me soo much when im working. Me without music was me when i was really focused and still talking but once i managed to borrow headphones from someone i went on a rampage. In the end i had to bullshit 2 pages though cause i lost my train of thought and didn't have anything left to say, cause i covered everything so nicely in a course of 3 other pages...idk. Im fuckin up all over. Now im in the library ready to seriously get something done early. This is a follow up on my moral old thomas had. I knew that i would most likely never be happy again myself because i will forever want what i dont have, but i survive for the people around me. My goal and dream before i die is to make as many people happy about themselves and their lives as possible. Thats probably why i was so mad that i wasn't able to make a speech. I lost an opportunity to satisfy part of my goal. Meh. but yeah...I guess i live off contradictions, its how i push forward. Take another contradiction of mine for example. Stephanie. I dont like her anymore. But kevin has been getting very close to her and she actually went over his dorm alone to bake cookies with him and she eventually took a nap in his bed while I was in class. Kevin knows i dont mind. We talked about this, I am one of those guys that are least likely to be dragged in and affected by emotions or attractions. Thats a fucked up lie. But im glad he thinks that. Cause now i feel like there is competition and kinda..unwillingly willing to accept his challenge. Meh. im a fucked up mess. But yeah. fuck that shit. give me a shot. I want too many things. and i feel that that phrase is perfect for my mood right now. I say fuck it but i want it. But at the same time i want something different/better for myself. Very broad statement i know. but it sums it up. What else?...humm..I got new glasses! zzz idk. I had a dream of suicide last night. :x it wasnt a sad dream either it was the scene from the book NIGHT where the little boy was hanged and everyone stood there and watched. I was a willing marytr. I dont want that for myself. But i kinda do at the same time. Idk where this blog post is going. its full of contradictions between motivation, pestimitic views, bullshit, but a yearning to do better. Last night i studied for my stats test and redid the practice test this morning...if anything it wa the only completely good thing i did recently. cause it helped alot when the test was put in front of me. like i said to Kevin after i lost to pool to him one day, then to him roommate in Tekken. i said "Fuck that shit! im going to go study, cause i can never lose if im studying!" haha. it was a joke that was actually very true. I hope that it will be a new way i look at studying so that i can get myself to do it more than ever. I really want this year to be over with. zzz but at the same time i ant it to continue cause never have i ever contradicted myself so much. its helping me grow. I like it. Fuck you.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Flex
Before I type about anything else on my mind, I must give regards to the wonderful week i had with Lauren during her stay in Boston. I really wanted to hang out with her when she was in Boston since Boston is where it started and idk its awesome to hang out with a person in the same places after realizing how much i changed, it controls the variables and gives me a broader understanding of what i have become. Of what the relationship i have with people have become. I enjoyed it alot :D It's surprisingly relieving to know that not much has changed at all. I would elaborate, but my memory fails me and i cannot remember the date or events for the life of me at this moment, lol perhaps its because im caught too much in the memories of yesterday.
I feel really stressed right now and the feeling is very familiar. I want to document a memory..a flashback i had when i was talking to lauren cause its a veryy important memor in my life. It was the third party that kept me going because it was such a pure memory. I notice i throw around that word alot, pure, what does that mean? For people that hear me use it they ask for elaboration so i'll clarify now. Pure means to see something with no contradicting ideas or to see an event through only one perspective. Dont misjudge the word for ignorance, for there is a very thin line between the two. Think of pure being the perpective that does nothing but bring good to the people around it. It carries a positive connotation. Its the person that does what they think is right because of their own beliefs and instincts. Like people that save endangered animals from being hunted cause its wrong to do that. If a person did that for a living and a expert at that idea, i'd consider them pure. Anyways, the memory was of my whole family at a beach when i was no oler than the age of five. My sisters were somewhere and i was having quality time with my parents bathing in the warm seemingly-forever lasting sunset. Funny thing is i dont remember hwere hte fuck that happened, for all i know that could have been just a dream i had, a fantasy i held onto for the past decade of my life. It oozed of the idea of happiness. it was pure happiness. with the stereotypical loving family image. That one memory, or dream...allowed me to have my dose of happiness everyday to maintain my sanity through the harsh years. Meh, this memory was the only one that survived from my young childhood before the chaos cause i remember using memories as fuel is used with cars. but thats a different story, not proper for this entry. So, excuse that tangent as i return to reality.
Yesterday i was excited for the party! i was going to kereoke for the first time in my life and i thought this would be a great time to just get shit out of my head and unwind. shit being school, girls, life, present, past, and future really. haha. well i hung out with lauren of course before going to work and at work it was one of the most tedious days everrr there were enough people to fill the room so that i couldnt do shit but wait for them to ask for help, but there wasn't enough people coming in and out to keep me busy. i ended up getting a decent amount of reading and hw done. Well that indian girl, which i will now say her name is Stephanie. because she holds no more meaning to me. This stress has allowed me to push everything away. anywho she texts me about the party, which was kevins birthday party. apparently she wants to meet me up and leave for the party together. At that moment i said to myself, oh fuck you fate, how dare you threaten a night like this with such a challenge. haha but i was like you know this is going to be interesting if she comes. We'll both be wasted and i'll know my true feelings when im drunk and near her. Then again, it wasnt fate, it was just kevin, poking my endurance and my perseverance. haha since he holds the guestlist. anywho. After work Stephanie meets us up and she was just..absolutely stunning. i walk ahead talking to the dudes and making pizza jokes cause i was wearing a nice jacket and pizza at the same time..odd clash of occupation haha. anywho. I met some really cool people and by the end it was all a blur because everyone was wasted. and there was this asian dude which i loved cause he had a surprisingly good scream and we sang one step closer and he screamed all the screaming parts. that was the only song we got a 99 on even though everyone was singing it. lol usually excesive amounts of people on one mic made the score 00 but yeah. haha awesome. i was headbanging too hahaha. but yeah...i was stressed cause stephanie was Such a flirt. she whispers to people in such a seductive way that it was retarded lol and since i was drunk my emotions took me in completely and i probably looked like a creep. idk, i had fun in the end though. Afterward conor, one of kevins roomates and kevin caught me smoking. fml. haha i was sharing a 100 with a really cool guy i just met named ryan and he was talking about how he noticed the spark between me and steph all night and even though guys were all over her i had the highest chance of getting with her and he used his expertise that is backed with his presently, two girlfriends he maintains without one knowing the other. He asked me if i was with her and i said no and he said k so you dont mind if i go for her? and i said not at all. and i said that i believe that if a guy takes her i would care less that just shows i wasnt worthy. or something like that. and we started talking about other stuff while steph was way ahead with the guys cause she was wasted and a guy named albert was like..breathing down her neck the whole night. lol but yeah..now i feel completely fine. blogging does help. i just noticed. steph has a wonderful personality but its one to be shared if a guy takes her whoopde fuckin do. i doubt it would matter XP i'd probably still be able to hang with her and have dinner with her and everything. No possessive guy can get a girl like her. haha. I dont know why i added this snipit of the story, probably because it made me feel really good to hear someone i didnt know say that i can do something. That doesnt happen often if its not a formal situation. I felt like it was genuine. not like my counselor's doing the "you can do it thomas, i know you can" like..meh. idk. i hear people in that seat say that all the time. and believe me it gets tiring xD.
Anyway, during this entire blog entry i had this song plahing in my head if anyone wants brownie points listen to the song and read the lyrics. cause i dont understand why it was replaying in my head on loop like crazy. i didnt even used to like this song. There is definitely something about it relating to my mood right now. well..Them Crooked Vultures- Elephants.
As for flex, well for situations that get hard, just put some more muscle into it. :P you'll look good and come out strong. Flex for me! haha
I feel really stressed right now and the feeling is very familiar. I want to document a memory..a flashback i had when i was talking to lauren cause its a veryy important memor in my life. It was the third party that kept me going because it was such a pure memory. I notice i throw around that word alot, pure, what does that mean? For people that hear me use it they ask for elaboration so i'll clarify now. Pure means to see something with no contradicting ideas or to see an event through only one perspective. Dont misjudge the word for ignorance, for there is a very thin line between the two. Think of pure being the perpective that does nothing but bring good to the people around it. It carries a positive connotation. Its the person that does what they think is right because of their own beliefs and instincts. Like people that save endangered animals from being hunted cause its wrong to do that. If a person did that for a living and a expert at that idea, i'd consider them pure. Anyways, the memory was of my whole family at a beach when i was no oler than the age of five. My sisters were somewhere and i was having quality time with my parents bathing in the warm seemingly-forever lasting sunset. Funny thing is i dont remember hwere hte fuck that happened, for all i know that could have been just a dream i had, a fantasy i held onto for the past decade of my life. It oozed of the idea of happiness. it was pure happiness. with the stereotypical loving family image. That one memory, or dream...allowed me to have my dose of happiness everyday to maintain my sanity through the harsh years. Meh, this memory was the only one that survived from my young childhood before the chaos cause i remember using memories as fuel is used with cars. but thats a different story, not proper for this entry. So, excuse that tangent as i return to reality.
Yesterday i was excited for the party! i was going to kereoke for the first time in my life and i thought this would be a great time to just get shit out of my head and unwind. shit being school, girls, life, present, past, and future really. haha. well i hung out with lauren of course before going to work and at work it was one of the most tedious days everrr there were enough people to fill the room so that i couldnt do shit but wait for them to ask for help, but there wasn't enough people coming in and out to keep me busy. i ended up getting a decent amount of reading and hw done. Well that indian girl, which i will now say her name is Stephanie. because she holds no more meaning to me. This stress has allowed me to push everything away. anywho she texts me about the party, which was kevins birthday party. apparently she wants to meet me up and leave for the party together. At that moment i said to myself, oh fuck you fate, how dare you threaten a night like this with such a challenge. haha but i was like you know this is going to be interesting if she comes. We'll both be wasted and i'll know my true feelings when im drunk and near her. Then again, it wasnt fate, it was just kevin, poking my endurance and my perseverance. haha since he holds the guestlist. anywho. After work Stephanie meets us up and she was just..absolutely stunning. i walk ahead talking to the dudes and making pizza jokes cause i was wearing a nice jacket and pizza at the same time..odd clash of occupation haha. anywho. I met some really cool people and by the end it was all a blur because everyone was wasted. and there was this asian dude which i loved cause he had a surprisingly good scream and we sang one step closer and he screamed all the screaming parts. that was the only song we got a 99 on even though everyone was singing it. lol usually excesive amounts of people on one mic made the score 00 but yeah. haha awesome. i was headbanging too hahaha. but yeah...i was stressed cause stephanie was Such a flirt. she whispers to people in such a seductive way that it was retarded lol and since i was drunk my emotions took me in completely and i probably looked like a creep. idk, i had fun in the end though. Afterward conor, one of kevins roomates and kevin caught me smoking. fml. haha i was sharing a 100 with a really cool guy i just met named ryan and he was talking about how he noticed the spark between me and steph all night and even though guys were all over her i had the highest chance of getting with her and he used his expertise that is backed with his presently, two girlfriends he maintains without one knowing the other. He asked me if i was with her and i said no and he said k so you dont mind if i go for her? and i said not at all. and i said that i believe that if a guy takes her i would care less that just shows i wasnt worthy. or something like that. and we started talking about other stuff while steph was way ahead with the guys cause she was wasted and a guy named albert was like..breathing down her neck the whole night. lol but yeah..now i feel completely fine. blogging does help. i just noticed. steph has a wonderful personality but its one to be shared if a guy takes her whoopde fuckin do. i doubt it would matter XP i'd probably still be able to hang with her and have dinner with her and everything. No possessive guy can get a girl like her. haha. I dont know why i added this snipit of the story, probably because it made me feel really good to hear someone i didnt know say that i can do something. That doesnt happen often if its not a formal situation. I felt like it was genuine. not like my counselor's doing the "you can do it thomas, i know you can" like..meh. idk. i hear people in that seat say that all the time. and believe me it gets tiring xD.
Anyway, during this entire blog entry i had this song plahing in my head if anyone wants brownie points listen to the song and read the lyrics. cause i dont understand why it was replaying in my head on loop like crazy. i didnt even used to like this song. There is definitely something about it relating to my mood right now. well..Them Crooked Vultures- Elephants.
As for flex, well for situations that get hard, just put some more muscle into it. :P you'll look good and come out strong. Flex for me! haha
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Kings
Its been a while now since i've changed my pin name to Kings. It stands for great power....independence..and the power to change all in such a way that everyone sees me and understands me. Yep. might make it into my new sn. i need to move away from warcryextremist. lol that which represented my strive to survive. When a warrior fights for what he wants to protect..his life and the life of others a warcry is made. to be a warcry extremist meant to take survival to a completely different level. I wanted to live nothing was going to stop me...even if i had to die again to live properly. I have that now. So i will be a King :]. This blog begins with a sense of backtracking but it should be something new. Congratulations Thomas. This is your 15th blog post. I'd have to say it feels great. Alot has happened recently and idk how to summarize this properly but ill try my best. For some reason i started typing with the wanting to be very happy and just WOOHOO YEAH BITCH. but i guess its always in me to pay my respects. i would toast to myself a fine life and what there is to come. I consider this a bridge passed because now i dont rely on my past to make up who i am. i have enough experiences to top that shit and show people someone new that others will never even need to know what shit i went through to get to know me. I can communicate and open myself as free as anyone else because as shown from blogging. i can open up now and i can see life as a bright future. Farewell, Old Thomas much respects. Speaking of which, during the period i did not blog, i did hang out with phi one on one for a day..just talking..and we ate together and i told her about my new hobbies and i hugn out in her dorm...helped her with her laundry..and she introduced me to some people and laughed together and everything. we were like old acquaintances it felt great to know everything is settled.
Anywho. Change of tone. Umass Amherst! i cannot believeee it was soo awesome. I keep saying this and i will say it again the people there are so awesome. Even though i felt like i kinda just jumped into a group and let myself loose after meeting them, i knew that if i had just a week more wiht them i would fit in just right. I was missing out on a lot of the inside jokes and the type of humor the group carried but it worked out fine. Lauren, being a fascinating host introduced my to well..the people that stood out to me was matt, maddie, sihem, nick, raf, andrew, alex, michael, shoko, gabby, ashley, tim uhh trying to run my head down the hall and see if i forgot anyone.. i knowww i did. but they stood out to me cause we connected and stuck in my head. They were all great individuals that added their own spunk to the group. it was a very clich'eish college i must say but thats exactly what i wanted to experience at least once! everyone in laurens dorm in particular knew one another and it was a very tight community that allowed people to just chill from room to room without any care because each room was just like a doorway to another room to a house :D metaphorically speaking. im so proud of luis. me and him knew each other ever since steppingstone and in steppingstone we would go through thick and thin for one another cause he was always the bold but gentleman guy. he deserved such a great girlfriend :]. Nothing against softspoken people, but i love people that give their own thoughts and luis did that and was himself while always staying pure at heart. much love to that guy. lol anywho.. i can go day to day but that would be strenuous. ill just highlight keypoints i loved and itll jog my memory in the future. Bright sunny mornings with a steep downhill finding cantabs. nights wondering the halls talking to people and talking with lauren. Dinner at franklin. Party at house with beerpong and flipcup..the keg was soo damn ridiculously smooth. lauren took her first shot and i was gone by then. Joyce..she was a nutrition major and she beat me twice in beerpong even though i was playing exceptionally well compared to how i usually do. Hooka in the yard listening to random discussions while looking around the yard at the mini groups of people. meh. i cna go on forever but that should be enough to jog my memory. Myron was a problem but i honestly didnt have a problem with him..in environments such as amherst my patience, which is already abnormally strong, just skyrockets. nothing can take away such a awesome mood. I realized he was having a problem and that it was a problem for everyone else and i tried to help just cause it was disrupting the flow but honestly, i didnt quite care. lol. moses joined us at the end and me and him jogged to the bus at 7:55 trying to catch the 8 oclock bus back with his obnoxious bags and it was super dark. we caught the bus and had a great chill ride back. there was this damn ghetto puerto rican that was playing regge on speaker using his phone. it was bugging alot of people. i could tell because the man across from me occasionally put down his book and rubbed his forehead in distress. anywho. yeah i stole a ring from lauren which belongs to gabby and now i never remove it from my left middle finger unless im showering. it compliments the spinning ring ive been trying to steal from tammy forever and finally succeeded to do. tammy's ring is dumb stuck on my right ring finger. where lauren's used to be. unfortunately, laurens ring bent a bit due to the rough handshakes i do with people. so its safely on my left hand now. tammy's ring is too tough to bend. lol in general though, the amherst trip was a bit of a blur due to my lack of vision. so no solid imagines stuck to my head. i must say though laurens dorm reminds me slightly of my dorm back at nmh due to the brick and the yard next to it everyone chilled on. I enjoyed a very chill long smoke one day on a hill against a tree just chilling. ughh so great. btw. a addition..i realized that al the girls at uma have such beautiful eyes. geez... its like..wow. lol
Today was awesome as well i felt like this has been a very awesome week because im walking outside of my comfort zone. First time i ever went to a hookah bar and it was sooo awesome. i was with omar pammy danny matt renee and this other girl i cant seem to remember her name. i feel like me and the girl were very compatible though. This other girl, for the sake of it, well call her mala because shes from malaysia and goes to upenn with pam. she has a very interesting life story and me and her walked much slower than all the others back to the car(when we were about to go home) just talking and taking pictures. shes so fuckin leet at smoking hookah cause she knows how to smoke right. one tug with her is like..a fuckin cloud you cannot see through and it sits there. one tug for me is like..i was outside on a cold day. lol. it was a great experience though. in the car me and her shared shotgun and it felt very natural having my arm around her lol. not because im creepy we were chill but just cause we had a very nice formal and proper introduction. anywho. afterward we went to bertucci's and we lavished in the great food because apparently, including me, noone ate all today and we were fuckin starving. i sat across from mala and thats when we got acquainted. the lasagna was just..so fuckin delicious..probably because it was such a awesome time. matt, funny thing is hes gay as well. and he was aweosme him and renee were like one of those gay guy and striaght and single girl COUPLES like. they were beastie. ahaha. we played a game..damnit i forgot what it was it started with a p..ill definitely update this entry when i remember but it was a weird word. its a car game and everytime you see a car with a fucked up headlights you have to hit the roof of the car and say that word. its like punch buggie lol who ever hits the roof last looses. who ever sees the most wins. we actually saw alot of them. lol like at least 20 ahha and we were in the car for no more than like..30 mins each ride. yeah in order to perpetuate the group essence we had another inside joke as well like.."Ooh your THAT GIRL!" ahha regardless of gender if you were caught being clumsy you were called THAT girl. lol matt was the only one that wasnt clumsy until the end when he tripped. haha and the funny thing is we...mostly matt said that who ever is THAT girl last at the end of the day will be THAT girl forever. ahha he was that girl. haha. fun ass group.
more good news! IM STAYING AT NEU! i dont give a FUCK lol im staying in cps and that means im only going to have to pay max around 15k woot woot. go me. but yeah. this blog is getting long. im in such a good mood right now. the only thing that messes it up is the fact that my pool skills are SOO bipolar. i bought a pool stick for 60 bucks! 150 retail price. thts a steal i'd sya even though its used a bit. anywho its very light for me but its so balanced that once you get used tot he weight the strokes are VERY RIDUCULOUSLY smooth and the stick does a fine job amplifying the sutle differences i want to do with the white ball. for positioning. its pretty much...too good for me. lol cause my stroke isnt solid enough so a small mistake is a really big mistake with my cue. but i got used to it for a short period of time and managed to clear kevin with him 5 balls left for three games. that means he only got 2 in each game and i only h\gave him two turns max. lol. my stick is so godly. but yeah. its too much for me XD..ill get used to it though!!! well ttyl guyss i guess im backk?
Anywho. Change of tone. Umass Amherst! i cannot believeee it was soo awesome. I keep saying this and i will say it again the people there are so awesome. Even though i felt like i kinda just jumped into a group and let myself loose after meeting them, i knew that if i had just a week more wiht them i would fit in just right. I was missing out on a lot of the inside jokes and the type of humor the group carried but it worked out fine. Lauren, being a fascinating host introduced my to well..the people that stood out to me was matt, maddie, sihem, nick, raf, andrew, alex, michael, shoko, gabby, ashley, tim uhh trying to run my head down the hall and see if i forgot anyone.. i knowww i did. but they stood out to me cause we connected and stuck in my head. They were all great individuals that added their own spunk to the group. it was a very clich'eish college i must say but thats exactly what i wanted to experience at least once! everyone in laurens dorm in particular knew one another and it was a very tight community that allowed people to just chill from room to room without any care because each room was just like a doorway to another room to a house :D metaphorically speaking. im so proud of luis. me and him knew each other ever since steppingstone and in steppingstone we would go through thick and thin for one another cause he was always the bold but gentleman guy. he deserved such a great girlfriend :]. Nothing against softspoken people, but i love people that give their own thoughts and luis did that and was himself while always staying pure at heart. much love to that guy. lol anywho.. i can go day to day but that would be strenuous. ill just highlight keypoints i loved and itll jog my memory in the future. Bright sunny mornings with a steep downhill finding cantabs. nights wondering the halls talking to people and talking with lauren. Dinner at franklin. Party at house with beerpong and flipcup..the keg was soo damn ridiculously smooth. lauren took her first shot and i was gone by then. Joyce..she was a nutrition major and she beat me twice in beerpong even though i was playing exceptionally well compared to how i usually do. Hooka in the yard listening to random discussions while looking around the yard at the mini groups of people. meh. i cna go on forever but that should be enough to jog my memory. Myron was a problem but i honestly didnt have a problem with him..in environments such as amherst my patience, which is already abnormally strong, just skyrockets. nothing can take away such a awesome mood. I realized he was having a problem and that it was a problem for everyone else and i tried to help just cause it was disrupting the flow but honestly, i didnt quite care. lol. moses joined us at the end and me and him jogged to the bus at 7:55 trying to catch the 8 oclock bus back with his obnoxious bags and it was super dark. we caught the bus and had a great chill ride back. there was this damn ghetto puerto rican that was playing regge on speaker using his phone. it was bugging alot of people. i could tell because the man across from me occasionally put down his book and rubbed his forehead in distress. anywho. yeah i stole a ring from lauren which belongs to gabby and now i never remove it from my left middle finger unless im showering. it compliments the spinning ring ive been trying to steal from tammy forever and finally succeeded to do. tammy's ring is dumb stuck on my right ring finger. where lauren's used to be. unfortunately, laurens ring bent a bit due to the rough handshakes i do with people. so its safely on my left hand now. tammy's ring is too tough to bend. lol in general though, the amherst trip was a bit of a blur due to my lack of vision. so no solid imagines stuck to my head. i must say though laurens dorm reminds me slightly of my dorm back at nmh due to the brick and the yard next to it everyone chilled on. I enjoyed a very chill long smoke one day on a hill against a tree just chilling. ughh so great. btw. a addition..i realized that al the girls at uma have such beautiful eyes. geez... its like..wow. lol
Today was awesome as well i felt like this has been a very awesome week because im walking outside of my comfort zone. First time i ever went to a hookah bar and it was sooo awesome. i was with omar pammy danny matt renee and this other girl i cant seem to remember her name. i feel like me and the girl were very compatible though. This other girl, for the sake of it, well call her mala because shes from malaysia and goes to upenn with pam. she has a very interesting life story and me and her walked much slower than all the others back to the car(when we were about to go home) just talking and taking pictures. shes so fuckin leet at smoking hookah cause she knows how to smoke right. one tug with her is like..a fuckin cloud you cannot see through and it sits there. one tug for me is like..i was outside on a cold day. lol. it was a great experience though. in the car me and her shared shotgun and it felt very natural having my arm around her lol. not because im creepy we were chill but just cause we had a very nice formal and proper introduction. anywho. afterward we went to bertucci's and we lavished in the great food because apparently, including me, noone ate all today and we were fuckin starving. i sat across from mala and thats when we got acquainted. the lasagna was just..so fuckin delicious..probably because it was such a awesome time. matt, funny thing is hes gay as well. and he was aweosme him and renee were like one of those gay guy and striaght and single girl COUPLES like. they were beastie. ahaha. we played a game..damnit i forgot what it was it started with a p..ill definitely update this entry when i remember but it was a weird word. its a car game and everytime you see a car with a fucked up headlights you have to hit the roof of the car and say that word. its like punch buggie lol who ever hits the roof last looses. who ever sees the most wins. we actually saw alot of them. lol like at least 20 ahha and we were in the car for no more than like..30 mins each ride. yeah in order to perpetuate the group essence we had another inside joke as well like.."Ooh your THAT GIRL!" ahha regardless of gender if you were caught being clumsy you were called THAT girl. lol matt was the only one that wasnt clumsy until the end when he tripped. haha and the funny thing is we...mostly matt said that who ever is THAT girl last at the end of the day will be THAT girl forever. ahha he was that girl. haha. fun ass group.
more good news! IM STAYING AT NEU! i dont give a FUCK lol im staying in cps and that means im only going to have to pay max around 15k woot woot. go me. but yeah. this blog is getting long. im in such a good mood right now. the only thing that messes it up is the fact that my pool skills are SOO bipolar. i bought a pool stick for 60 bucks! 150 retail price. thts a steal i'd sya even though its used a bit. anywho its very light for me but its so balanced that once you get used tot he weight the strokes are VERY RIDUCULOUSLY smooth and the stick does a fine job amplifying the sutle differences i want to do with the white ball. for positioning. its pretty much...too good for me. lol cause my stroke isnt solid enough so a small mistake is a really big mistake with my cue. but i got used to it for a short period of time and managed to clear kevin with him 5 balls left for three games. that means he only got 2 in each game and i only h\gave him two turns max. lol. my stick is so godly. but yeah. its too much for me XD..ill get used to it though!!! well ttyl guyss i guess im backk?
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Restriction
So, i found it very easy to not blog. haha thats the thing i constantly talk about. once you say something out-loud you subconsciously that that to account. I said i wasn't going to blog and jeez, i didnt even notice the last blog was feb 28. i didnt WANT to do that. i tried to blog but i didnt feel like it. :\. I feel kinda guilty that i havent blogged about Amherst yet because it was SUCH a great experience. humm...i still dont really feel like blogging though. lolol..three more weeks until vacation and ill probably blog then. zzz im glad that i witnessed the real stereotypical college though. it was a very fun experience full of awesome people. well. chao chao. im going to continue paying attention in psych. Eye exam tomorrow! i havent been home for five days. >.>
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