fuck

Well,now its beginning to become a natural think to think during the day. It kinda drifted into play cause i noticed that Ive been doing even before this entry. now i start to think on a more moderate stage. Less about just humans and more about the world as a whole. I write this entry because today i can confidently say that its over. Ive become a thinker, have some decent morals in front of me, and i can tell myself that i do not love her. Now Ive been throwing that word around a lot subconsciously, and its really annoying me. It also annoys me how I'm growing to be really cocky. Before i used to NEVER be cocky, because i believed that the cocky saw that they had something better than someone else. It was just wrong.so the reason why im writing this entry actually happened several days ago but the effect just hit me now. I went on her facebook, and i scroll through her pictures and i see nothing but a face.The feeling of loneliness hit me quick and the almost-unfamiliar emotion gave me a big shiver. yeah it just hit me now that probably after the process, i never did L her again. It was probably just a memory that clung on. So this whole time i didn't L her and this was all just a mental game? eh. thats pretty funny. But i should be used to it now, mental games that is. Yeah what sucks is then i remember that im attracted to this other girl and i hit myself like..ew she is nothing compared to her. lol. UGH emotions are so unnecessary because of 3 days ago i remembered how it felt to be lonely. *sigh* w/e...game over..idk what to do now. ive accomplished my life goal. lol. I feel kinda lonely :[...it sucks. But im happy cause my 7 years of life didnt go to waste. well..yep..what to do now?. btwif i had a chance, for her, id do it all over again XD LOL....which sounds physically and mentally impossible but yeah. hell i dont se what i have to loose XD