Wow.

Im reading all this like Bleh. lol. nothing much to say because im considerably stable now, For the past two weeks ive been "hatching" so to speak because ive been able to remember memories and stuff, but they are actually in a pure light. SO its pretty much like recycling fuel? i guess? lol Ive also learned attraction again and like i expected, i accept it and actually bonded with someone from my 2nd year summer search trip very well. Her name is Selin and she is currently in turkey. lol. It has been a little more than a month since i got back from my program, it ended on aug 2nd. But yeah i still hold affection for her, and ive decided to not touch it at all. So i will continue having affection for her until she tells me not to. well idk what mre to say, im in a stage where ive COMPLETELY rid Her of my life in the sense where seeing her is no problem. Though i still hold a bit of Anger for her actually, it doesnt oppose a problem. iv gotten much stronger physically because i went through a stage where i thought i should switch things around and boost my mental, physically. So i got close to a 6 pack and can curl about 30. i dont want to write too much but yeah. Lifes great.